Easy, proven ways to keep the ‘happy’ in your holidays

The holidays are in full swing. How are yours going?

For some of us, the holiday season can be stressful for many reasons — loneliness, financial problems and family issues are just a few.

The stress a person feels from these anxiety-filled situations can trigger a fight-or-flight response. It explains why some people “flee” by eating or drinking too much. Or why others fight by bringing up uncomfortable subjects at the dinner table.

In spite of our imperfect lives and imperfect families, the holidays are meant to be enjoyed with loved ones.

“The days are long but the years are short” is an old adage used to describe the hectic years of young parenthood. But it’s a sentiment many of us feel at all stages of life: Time goes so fast.

So, how do we set aside our own struggles? Differences with some family members? How do we overlook our own shortcomings and those of others so we can truly enjoy what are — ultimately — fleeting times with those so dear to us? Good news — it is possible!

Here are four, science-backed ways to help you manage your emotions, lower your stress and enjoy the holidays.

• Recognize your stress — and breathe.

  When you feel stress building up inside you, recognize and acknowledge it. Research shows that just labeling how we’re feeling actually decreases the feeling. Acknowledge your feelings to yourself or to a close friend. Or, write about it in a journal.

  And by breathing more deeply and slowing down your exhales, you can lower your heart rate and blood pressure.

• Remember everything you’re grateful for.

  When we’re feeling stressed, it’s easy to focus on everything that’s going wrong in our lives. But take heart: Research shows that for every negative thing that happens to us in a day, three positive things happened as well.

  Thinking about all the things you’re grateful for reminds you of the abundance in your life. That has a positive impact on your relationships, health and happiness — and lowers your stress.

• Live in the moment.

  Research shows that when people take time to be present in the moment and savor the people and experiences that surround them, their happiness increases.

  That’s hard to do if you’re preoccupied with something like your smartphone, for example. People who spend a lot of time scrolling through their phone are probably not fully present with the person or people they’re with.

• Focus on others rather than on yourself.

  When we’re feeling anxious, chances are, we’re focused on ourselves. That makes it more difficult to see things from other people’s perspectives, and to connect with them.

  The secret to lowering your anxiety? Focus on others. Ask how they are. Ask yourself what you can do for them. Being interested in others can improve your relationships and communication.

  Serving and helping others gives us a sense of meaning and purpose. And research shows it’ll also increase your happiness and health.

Your family and friends value your love and presence over any present you could give them. These tips can help you feel energized by and grateful for the time you’ll spend with the family you cherish.

Happy holidays!