Friendship-making refresher for retirement

Read time: 4 minutes

Remember how easy it was to make friends when we were young? Maybe it was that small group of students you connected with on the first day of junior high. Or a college roommate who turned into a lifelong friend. Or a talented group you worked with at one of your jobs, where you all laughed as hard as you worked.

When we were surrounded by cohorts in the same boat, gravitating toward those we had even more in common with was natural. Before you knew it, you were part of a posse.

If that doesn’t describe you today, you’re not alone. Life happens. Things get hectic, the years pass, people move, lose touch, and experience health problems.

But friends are so important. Someone to enjoy life with, confide in, and share joys and sorrows with. Research also shows having strong friendships and relationships is good for your mental and emotional health.

If you’re feeling a bit lonely and are wondering how to meet new friends, here are a few ways to get in the friend-making mindset, plus several quick tips on some avenues that can help you get started.

Deepen your current connections — new and old.

Do you feel naturally drawn to someone else? Someone you see in your neighborhood or other casual everyday setting? Follow your gut and speak up. It sounds simple, but just starting a conversation without overthinking it or having an agenda can work wonders. More often than not, initiating a conversation with someone is worth it.

Sometimes, friendships end for a reason. But if that’s not the case with some of your old friends, consider reconnecting with them. Sometimes, all it takes is a phone call to get the ball rolling.

Be more intentional with ‘yes’ and ‘no.’

This doesn’t mean saying “yes” to everything, but saying “yes” to an activity outside your comfort zone that intrigues you. Mingling with folks outside your usual social circle can make room for fresh connections.

Aim to be interested — not interesting or impressive.

Everyone likes to talk about themselves. That’s not a bad thing. It makes us feel validated and heard. It’s part of what makes up our self-esteem. But it’s also important to know when to talk less and listen more.

Being a good listener is a wonderful attribute to have. And it’s especially important when meeting new people. Active listening leads to better conversations and better friendships.

Out of practice? Listen carefully by paying attention, acknowledging what the other person is saying, and asking questions.

Be patient and consistent.

All good things take time, and so it is with making new friends. Be patient and consistent in your effort to connect with people you align with when forming new friendships.

Here are several suggestions on how you can get out there and start connecting with others:

Join a local book club.
Attend community events and festivals.
Take up a new hobby or revisit an old one.
Volunteer at local charities or nonprofit organizations.
Participate in group fitness classes like yoga or Tai Chi.
Join a walking or hiking group.
Take part in local art or craft workshops.
Attend church or religious gatherings.
Join a local senior center or community center.

Get involved in a community garden.
Take dancing lessons or join a dance group.
Participate in group travel or tours.
Join a card or game club.
Become a member of a local historical society.
Attend lectures or workshops at a nearby university or college.
Join a photography club or take photography classes.
Attend local theater performances or join a drama group.
Participate in a local music or singing group.

Join a meditation or mindfulness group.
Attend local networking events or business groups.
Get involved in a political or advocacy group.
Join a local wine tasting or food appreciation club.
Take part in community service projects.
Attend cultural festivals and events.
Connect with others through online platforms and social media groups. For safety tips, please read the article below.